Reimagining Jesus as ‘Abortion Doula’

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Originally published via Armageddon Prose:

Closeted middle-aged lesbian, recreational softball catcher, and “feminist social ethicist,” Rev. Dr. Rebecca Todd Peters somehow got herself put in charge of First Presbyterian Church in Durham, NC.

In her appearances evangelizing to her flock, she often can be seen to wear Planned Parenthood paraphernalia while evangelizing about the virtues of abortion.

Related: NPR Releases Hardcore Abortion Porn Audio to Savor on Your Morning Commute

Here she is explaining that, were Jesus Christ around today, he’d spend his time aborting babies at the local clinic and kicking in wicked pro-life protesters’ heads:

“If Jesus were here today, he’d be an [abortion] clinic escort, distracting women from the hatred of the protesters. Or an abortion doula, holding women’s’ hands and offering support and love as they end their pregnancies. And I expect he would have a stern word for self-righteous legislators who use abortion as a political issue rather than showing compassion for the people seeking abortion…

If Jesus were giving his sermon today, he might also have said ‘blessed are those who end pregnancies.’”

Rev. Dr. Rebecca Todd Peters:
”If Jesus were here today, he’d be… an abortion doula, holding women’s’ hands and offering support and love as they end their pregnancies. ” pic.twitter.com/j839wDue6q

— Ben Bartee (@BenBartee) June 14, 2026

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On the assumption that “abortion doula” might be the nightmare product of this one woman of the cloth’s diseased imagination — surely, I thought to myself, there can’t be a literal professional title of “abortion doula,” even in this world so far gone — I looked up the term.

Related: HuffPo Feminist Quits Shaving to Protest for Abortion Rights

What a sweet summer child I was, even at this late date, having subjected myself as a job, day-in and day-out, to the manifest horrors of Social Justice™, to assume “abortion doula” an aberration.

How naïve and starry-eyed.

As it happens, “abortion doula” is a real professional title, at least in the crimson eyes of Planned Parenthood, founded by racist eugenicist Margaret Sanger.

Via Planned Parenthood:

“Typically, when someone hears of a doula, they think of birthing, and that’s absolutely one of the biggest use cases. But there’s also been a movement the past several years around full-spectrum doulas, and so you’ll see folks providing this service not only during the birthing process, but during pregnancy loss and during abortion care.

An abortion doula provides physical and emotional support to a patient during their abortion process. It’s an added level of care outside of the actual medical care where providers are attuning to whatever the patients’ needs are, to make them as comfortable as possible during the process. That can look like making sure they’re warm enough or making sure that they have food or drinks or just whatever is going to make them feel supported. The doula can step in and advocate for the patient and offer the patient options. This also looks like some level of physical support with breathing exercises or visualization exercises to help take the patient’s mind off any pain or discomfort that they may be experiencing because, sadly, with any medical procedure, there can be some level of discomfort. The abortion doula is there to really walk them through that.

And then there’s also the trauma-informed care piece and emotional support that comes along with abortion doula work. Many of our patients, and people in general, have experiences of trauma. Our providers strive to create a safe environment, avoid triggering past traumas, and take into account each patient’s prior experiences. Really, the abortion doula training is formalized education on how to address any needs or difficult emotions that might come up during the abortion process. I want to acknowledge not everyone experiences difficult emotions, but for some folks — they absolutely do. And we want to validate those feelings, let them know that we’re here to support them, and take the patients’ lead for whatever is going to work best for them.”

One, as a liberal and loving progressive, is obliged to cherish the sacred profession of abortion doulaism, Planned Parenthood admonishes its flock, because their work exterminating babies is vital for, in particular, “historically marginalized” birthing trannies and BIPOCs:

“Doula work, in general, is incredibly important to communities that have historically been marginalized, so pregnant people of color, trans and non-binary people — when they have someone there to provide that additional layer of support, the physical and emotional outcomes can be so much better because they oftentimes experience biases in health care.”

As has been noted many a time, there exists no such creature as an irreligious person. Everyone, whether they admit it or not, worships something; in the absence of God or something more transcendent, the object of that religious impulse becomes for the enlightened secular leftist, in this case, abortion.

Killing babies is the intersectional feminist’s paramount religious rite — their raison d’être.

Benjamin Bartee, author of Broken English Teacher: Notes From Exile (now available in paperback), is an independent Bangkok-based American journalist with opposable thumbs.

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