Easter Purge: Eight Mass Shootings and a Chainsaw Attack


Easter, March 31, was a typical day for most Americans. Many went to church before enjoying ham and pineapple with family. Kids hunted Easter eggs. And in the usual blue toilet cities, whackos with guns went to town.

FACT-O-RAMA! For the sake of this article, a mass shooting is defined as four or more people shot, not including the shooter or shooters, in a fluid situation. For example, if an idiot blazes up three people in a Denny’s, goes home to finish his Moons Over My Hammy, take a nap, and then proceeds to shoots another three people shopping at Crate & Barrel, this would not constitute a mass shooting.

The United States celebrated the Resurrection of Jesus with eight mass shooting. Of course, by now you shouldn’t be surprised to hear where the lead was a flyin’.

St. Petersburg, Florida; Venue–Block Party

Three men in their 20s and a 17-year-old girl were shot after a group of idiots argued during an all-day block party. 

The shooting took place outside of Sonic Sports Bar around 11:00 pm. Nearby cars were also riddled with bullets.

“It sounded like a war out here last night,” witness Shauntayvius Wilson quipped to reporters.

Despite there being a crowd of onlookers, the police have not released a description of the shooter or shooters.

Injured–4; Killed–0

Mayor: Ken Welch, Democrat

Both Jackson, Mississippi, and Chicago, Illinois, racked up mass shootings on the highest of Holy Days.

Chicago Mass Shooting #1 Austin Neighborhood,; Venue–Chat Room Business

Five women were shot, one fatally, around 1:00 am on Easter morning at a business called “Pappy’s Chat Room,” in Austin, Chicago’s deadliest neighborhood. All the victims were between 16 and 20 years old. No description of the shooter/shooters has been reported.

Chicago Mass Shooting #2 Austin Neighborhood;  Venue–Public Park

Three men and a 16-year-old were shot around 3:00 pm. The 16-year-old, Johnveir Winn-Mckeever, was shot in the head and killed. No description of the shooter/shooters has been reported.

Injured–3; Killed–1

Chicago’s Easter Mass Shooting Roundup: 2 Killed, 7 Injured, No Suspects

Mayor: Brandon Johnson, Democrat

Not to be outdone, Jackson, Mississippi, pulled a Perfecta with two mass shootings as well.

Jackson Mass Shooting #1; Venue–Birthday Party in a Public Park

A 19-year-old woman named Zykia Winford pulled a gat from her purse and ventilated four people during an argument, including an eight-year-old boy, before blessedly and accidentally shooting herself.

Jackson Mass Shooting #2; Venue–Convenience Store

Four men were shot, one fatally, during an early morning dispute in a Jasco convenience store.

“We do have two persons of interest that we will be issuing warrants for,” Jackson Police Chief Joseph Wade told reporters.

Two suspects were caught on camera, but the police have not yet released the footage or given a description of the shooters.

Jackson Carnage Tally –7 Injured, 1 Killed

Mayor: Chokwe Antar Lumumba, Democrat and Socialist

FACT-O-RAMA! In 2016, Jackson City Councilman Kenneth Stokes suggested residents throw rocks, bottles, and bricks at cops who are chasing black suspects.

Dublin, Georgia; Venue–House, Drive-By Shooting

This small yet crime-tastic town scores a 5 out of 100 (100 is the highest rating) in safety.

Seven people were shot, two fatally, during a 2:00 am drive-by shooting. Both fatalities were women, Miyori Ellington, 23, and Sacred Brown, 24.

5, Killed, 2 Injured

 Mayor: Joshua Kight, No Known Political Party

We’ve seen shootings in large cities and small. As we’ve seen, population size doesn’t matter.

Paris, Texas; Venue–Block Party

Four people were shot at the Booker T. Washington Paris Housing Authority complex during an “unauthorized” block party in this town of just over 24,000 people.

Again, the shooting took place after two men began arguing. The police counted 80 shells from two calibers, which tells me the shooters had several extended magazines each OR there were more weapons involved than the police have reported.

4 Injured, 0 Killed 

Mayor Reginald Hughes, Political Party Unknown

The final shooting of the week looks a lot like the others.

Memphis, Tennesse’ Venue–Restaurant

Again, a verbal argument “significantly escalated within moments,” leaving one dead and four or five others wounded. Some reports say five were shot in total, and several reports say five were “injured,” though one of the injured people may have been hurt in the ensuing chaos. 

Suspect Anton Lamike Rucker is b believed to be the only shooter, and police are looking for him.

1 Killed, 4 or 5 Injured

Mayor: Paul Young, Democrat

Normally I’d wrap up this mass shooting update, but something odd has happened: a chainsaw attack! This happened on March 25, not Easter, but it’s a freaking chainsaw attack!

St. Johnsbury, Vermont;  Venue, Hospital

Police responded to a call of a man assaulting people in a hospital with a chainsaw in the small town of St. Johnsbury (population 7,364_.

TOTALLY NOT SCIENTIFIC POLL-O-RAMA! Three members of your favorite news site, PJ Media, said they’d rather face a mass shooter than a Leatherface-type nutter with a chainsaw. Two members of our staff  — you can decide who, I’ll never tell — said they’d rather face a spatter-man with a buzzsaw than a mass shooter.

Officers engaged and eventually arrested Tyler Roy, 27, for attacking police and medical staff with a damned chainsaw

What Have We Learned?

We’ve learned that most of the aforementioned mass shootings occurred whe idiots lacking self-control got into arguments and began to ventilate people. Most of the victims were likely not intended targets and caught a bullet in a “festival of lead.”

Most of the shootings took place in public areas, with parties being a prominent locale for a good ole’ fashioned shoot ’em up.

Most of the mass shootings took place in cities run by Democrats who claim to abhor “gun violence” but were pretty sparse on descriptions of the suspected shooters.

Six people were killed and 31 were wounded just on Easter Sunday, not counting the crazy-train with the chainsaw.

The left loves shootings because they use crime stats about gun-related crimes to reach their ultimate goal: taking away guns from We the People.

Las Vegas News Magazine

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