Democrats Make History, But Not in a Good Way
Democrats love “making history” almost as much as journalists love congratulating them for it.
Barack Obama has amassed a $70 million net worth after he became the first half-black president of the United States. Hillary Clinton, the first wife of a philandering ex-president to win a major party’s presidential nomination, blasted confetti into the air on Election Night 2016 to mimic the historic shards of a shattered glass ceiling. At least that’s what she would have done if she had won.
Kamala Harris was the second person of color to serve as vice president and went on to become the first major party candidate in American history to endorse taxpayer-funded sex-change operations for illegal immigrants in prison. Had she won in 2024, most journalists would have lauded Harris as the “first woman president,” a debatable assertion given Dr. Jill Biden’s role as regent-in-chief during her husband’s “presidency.”
Democrats are still making history in 2026, but the categories have become increasingly niche and unimpressive. Let’s take a look at some of the trailblazing candidates and their “achievements.”
Graham Platner (Maine)
Platner was the first prep-school washout with a Nazi tattoo to win a major party’s nomination for U.S. Senate. Several weeks later, he made history again as the first U.S. Senate nominee with a Nazi tattoo to begrudgingly end his campaign after he was credibly accused of rape. As far as we know, Platner is also the first major party nominee who has ever expressed a desire to punish home intruders by raping them.
Abdul El-Sayed (Michigan)
If he defeats Haley Stevens in the Democratic Senate primary on Tuesday, El-Sayed will make history on several fronts. He would be the first anti-capitalist candidate who is also an international landlord to win a statewide election after being endorsed by the lesbian granddaughter of a Nazi soldier. El-Sayed would also be the first candidate to win a U.S. Senate primary after appearing on stage with Hasan Piker, the U.S.-based anti-American influencer known for defending Hamas and praising Mao Zedong.
James Talarico (Texas)
He’s trying to become the first U.S. senator who still shares a checking account with his mom. Talarico, 37, is also the first Senate candidate since Cory Booker in 2013 to come out as heterosexual during the campaign.
Francesca Hong (Wisconsin)
The clear frontrunner to win next week’s Democratic gubernatorial primary, Hong would become the first Asian-American college dropout with bipolar disorder to win a major party’s nomination for governor. Assuming El-Sayed wins on Tuesday, Hong will be the second Hamas-adjacent Democrat to win a statewide primary election after sharing a stage with Hasan Piker.
Darializa Avila Chevalier (New York)
All but certain to win the general election to represent New York’s 13th Congressional District, Avila Chevalier would be the first—but probably not the last—attendee at a pro-Hamas rally on Oct. 8, 2023, to serve in the U.S. Congress. She is also the first known Democratic candidate in many decades to publicly discourage interracial relationships.
Melat Kiros (Colorado)
The 29-year-old graduate student is poised to become the first Gen Z woman elected to Congress. She would also be the most physically attractive member of the “Squad,” relatively speaking.
Adam Hamawy (New Jersey)
The Egypt-born plastic surgeon has already won the Democratic congressional primary in New Jersey’s 12th district. The general election is not expected to be competitive, so Hamawy is poised to become the first U.S. congressman in history who has 1) testified as a character witness for the Islamic terrorist who inspired the 1993 World Trade Center bombing and 2) performed a Brazilian butt lift, the trendy cosmetic procedure better known as a BBL.
