Weekend Parting Shot: Your New Vacation Destination!
Happy Friday, Gentle Readers,
I don’t know about you, but I am ready for fall. The joy of yard work has lost its luster, and I look forward to doing something with my weekends other than sweating. And you can call me a cranky old man, but my neighbor seems to have started a daycare service in which prizes are given to whichever kid can shriek the loudest, longest, and at the highest possible pitch. Don’t get me wrong. It was cute and heart-warming for the first four hours. At hour number five, it is not that adorable anymore. Whatever happened to naps and cookies?
Forget Club Med! Welcome to Club Polis!
Everything has become ridiculously expensive since the adults assumed control of the nation. So, if you are looking for a fun vacation for your family before the snow flies and don’t have the intestinal fortitude to stomach the living hell of a Disney park, why not choose a Denver homeless encampment? It’s cheap and can provide the perfect vacation experience without worrying about things like room reservations or dining packages. Plus, you don’t have to sign the kids up for a character meet-and-greet. The characters are in the tent right next to yours!
According to the New York Post, quite the resort has popped up at a homeless encampment at 23rd and Champa Streets in Denver. There is a pop-up bar, complete with umbrellas, lounge chairs, and astroturf. Like any bar, the brands are available on the handsome, second-hand dressers and bookcases. And to make your night on the town or, in some cases, on the curb, extra memorable, the bar even rents tents for you and that special lady of the evening.
Call your travel agent. With the basic package, tetanus shots, pipes, and syringes are not included.
California continues to suck the fun out of everything.
California has never met an unreasonable and encumbering law it did not like. Because the one thing leftists love more than the planet and non-binary folk/jazz fusion is power. California Senate Bill 728 is awaiting the signature of the Gavinator. If passed, it would outlaw the use of plastic gift cards starting in 2027. Why? Because plastic gift cards are dangerous for the—c’mon, guess—the environment! The Washington Examiner notes that the bill was introduced by Senator Monique Limon, who wants to transition the state away from gift cards to more “environmentally friendly gift card options,” because mounds of plastic gift cards are piling up in our landfills and murdering countless species or something. For most people, countless gift cards pile up in junk drawers because they forgot to use them. And besides, aren’t we supposed to be recycling? Whatever happened to that? I still recycle. Is that passé now?
Celebrity chef Andrew Gruel had this to say:
California Senate Bill 728 is banning the sale of plastic gift cards. This is peak absurdity and WILL hurt businesses. Besides the fact this has zero effect on the environment, this will decrease gift card sales overall. Many people want a tangible card to offer as a gift and… pic.twitter.com/nZp7XYloXT
— Chef Andrew Gruel (@ChefGruel) September 13, 2023
Do you know what I think? I think that this isn’t about the environment at all. I think that California legislators have just developed some weird law fetish. I think they look at the people of California like a bunch of dirty old men and say,” Oh yeah, that’s it. Just one more piece of legislation, I promise.”
Missed the point entirely.
In the post below, you will find a woman, who thinks she is a man, who has an issue with men’s rooms.
Female who identifies as male uses the men’s restroom and misses the women’s restroom after seeing how men and women are different… pic.twitter.com/ZMPpAh2Cuk
— Libs of TikTok (@libsoftiktok) September 15, 2023
To this individual, I would like to say, welcome to the world of men. Since you obviously have not received your onboarding packet, there are a few things you need to know. First, as a man, you are now responsible for everything that has gone wrong on planet Earth since the dinosaurs. In fact, as a man, you probably had something to do with killing off the dinosaurs, you disgusting patriarchal lizard-phobe. Everything is your fault. Second, you hate women, BIPOC people, the environment, bunnies, kittens, children, sunshine, flowers, oatmeal, and pretty much everything else. And no, you can’t fall back on having originally been a woman. You’re one of us now. Don’t worry. You’ll get used to it.
Third, if you like women’s bathrooms so much, why did you transition? We’re men, bro. We do two, maybe three things in the can, and none of them involve decorating.
Fourth, if you are a “man” who wants to create a welcoming and comfortable space in the john, you have already failed. Miserably.
Wine Review: Because if we’re going to sit through a sham indictment of Hunter Biden, there is no reason we should do it sober.
This week, I thought I would sample the Ménage à Trois Northern Seduction Red Blend.
Despite the somewhat risqué name, I have always found that Ménage à Trois produces pretty good, reliable wines. They are usually fairly balanced and pair well with most recommended pairings. This blend of Cabernet and Syrah did not exactly disappoint, but it also did not really impress. This is a wine to have on hand for guests if you want to serve red wine but are unsure of everyone’s tastes. It has a decent mix of fruits and a jammy flavor and texture. It is not as dry as it was advertised to be or as dry as I normally like, but it is a decent wine and would pair well with an Italian dish or as a complement to a well-seasoned steak. I tried to learn more about it on the Ménage à Trois website but couldn’t find anything. That, coupled with the lack of ratings, would indicate that this is a more recent entry into the brand’s selections, so a little R&D may take place between now and future bottles. They also offer a bourbon barrel Cabernet Sauvignon blend that is an excellent wine, and in the future, I’ll stick with that. Again, the Northern Seduction is a decent, serviceable wine, but there was nothing about the bottle of 2019 that really stood out. Give them a bit of time and maybe see how they do with the next harvest of grapes.
That’s it for me. Enjoy whatever free time you may have coming, and I’ll see you next week.